A window to a soul

And They Lived Happily Ever After

I originally wrote this article for the Leftgrlls website. Since the site is now down I figured I put it back up on my site!! Enjoy.

Growing up our mind and soul is fed with a lot of happy endings' stories, so much so we cannot wait to grow up and be adults so that we can live our fairy tale ending. You know, a perfect mate, perfect children, perfect job, perfect picket fence home and... need I go on? Is life like that? Maybe for some few lucky ones it is, but unfortunately, for a lot of us, life is an obstacle course, and the obstacles in our path may be wrong choices, yes, but a good number of them are things totally beyond our control. For someone like me, who's been hit by "bad luck" all my life, I have grown to see people with everything "perfect" in their life as "shallow", and I am yet to find one of these "lucky" people interesting to talk to. What irony, that challenges in our life make us not only stronger, but interesting human beings.

Ever since Alex's death (who was stillborn at full term) and Nicky's birth (baby who is suffering from a devastating and life-threatening skin disorder called Epidermolysis Bullosa), I had the privilege to meet some of the most interesting human beings on this planet. Women that will go to any length to speak out, to help, to raise awareness and to make a difference. Women who started organizations, wrote books, who are there, day in and day out helping. When Nicky was born the dermatologist told us that he was probably going to die before his first birthday, he visually misdiagnosed Nicky as having a more fatal form of EB than he actually does, and as I spread the word about Nicky's disorder to friends and family, I will never forget an extremely touching email I received from a friend. He very eloquently told me that some of the greatest accomplishments in this world were from people that rose to the occasion despite their shortcomings... wasn't Beethoven deaf? Wasn't Picasso Blind? Needless to say, this friend, and all the other friends that have been there for me for these past 4.5 years, have had their share of trials and tribulations. People with the "perfect" life or... an "easy" life, decided it was best to avoid me like a disease, perhaps thinking my "bad luck" was contagious, or perhaps, told me that God was punishing me or whatever... almost wanting to find a way to blame me for my bad luck. Incredible, isn't it? One other very touching moment was when a very good friend of mine, who was suffering from AIDS, came over after Alex died, to hold my hand and look at the pictures of my dead baby. He didn't say much, but he didn't have to. Just the fact that he was there meant the world to me. In the end, ironically, I do believe that the people who will truly have that fairy tale ending, are not the people who's life gives them everything, but the ones who had to grow and toughen up over the years, building compassion, a lending hand and a shoulder to cry on....

The grand essentials of happiness are:
Something to do, Something to love, and Something to Hope for.
-Allan K. Chalmers

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