A window to a soul

I Love Nursing!

I didn't make this page to make moms feel bad for not being able to nurse. God knows... I was not able to nurse my first two babies and most likely wouldn't have nursed my first baby long, had he lived. When I was pregnant the first time I didn't really take it seriously and I had that attitude of... well, if it works out it works out, if not... whatever. However, when I held Alex, lifeless in my arms, with his mouth wide open, the first and only thing I wanted to do was nurse him. What a blow it was when my milk came in, all the pain I was in, and make it go away with the aide of some cabbage leaves (don't ask!!).

If my description of my stillborn baby makes you uneasy... I am sorry. Please don't write me hate mail on how you're grossed out or whatever, I am simply expressing my feelings, and if you haven't lost a child... count your blessings.

When my second baby was born, unfortunately things weren't peachy. He had an awful skin disorder and wasn't able to suck without getting giant blisters. I pumped for a month and then my milk supply went away. Up until this day I am not 100% sure if I was simply pumping wrong, pumping too hard (since it hurt like h*&%) or my body had just given up. My Nicky grew up on formula, and you know what? He's smart and just fine, so if you can't or won't nurse, know that your baby will be just fine. Of course my Nicky has other problems, but none that Formula made worse by any means...

But my real story of Nursing began when my healthy son, Connor, was born in September 2003. You must understand that by now being able to nurse was something that I just HAD to accomplish no matter what. I told numerous of my friends and family members that I would most likely nurse Connor for 2 years if I could just to get it out of my system!! LOL.

I will not lie to you... the beginning of my nursing experience wasn't easy nor painless, but I was determined. I remember holding him in the hospital, giving him the breast even though there was nothing there... just getting him used to the 'boobie'. He didn't seem to care and wanted his bottle, although the nurse was pretty adamant on him eating a certain amount, even if that meant waking the baby up!! Geezz... Since it seemed to hurt when he latched on I called a lactation consultant and I will never forget how rude she was and how rough she was with Connor. You have to understand that my older son Nicky is as fragile as a porcelain doll, so to see someone handle my new baby like a rag doll, I was beside myself. I could not get Connor to latch on like she wanted me to, no matter how much I tried, and I was not going to be treated horribly or like a failure for doing so.

As soon as I got home my milk came in and Connor never saw a bottle again. I remember well how much it hurt as soon as he started sucking, but the pain would subside, and I always kept in the back of my mind the saying that if you can continue nursing and not give up for the first 6 weeks you will be able to continue. By the time the 6 weeks came and went not only nursing no longer hurt no matter how badly he latched on, but I had lost all my pregnancy weight... without trying!!

As I am writing this Connor is 17 months old and still nursing. I cannot even figure out in my head the amount of money I saved on formula, not to mention how convenient it has been. The boobie is always ready, always at the right temperature, no matter where and no matter when. But to be honest my fondest thing right now is how close Connor and I are and how much I still love snuggling with my baby day and night.

I find it very sad when I hear of someone that "tried" nursing but gave up within the first week because 'it hurt'. Yes! It does hurt at first, but, I promise you, it gets better and better all the time!

The grand essentials of happiness are:
Something to do, Something to love, and Something to Hope for.
-Allan K. Chalmers

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