I
am
a
42 year
old
mother
of
an
Angel
in
Heaven
named
Alex,
and
two
special
little
Angels
on
Earth,
Nicky
and
Connor.
I've
been
hit
really
hard
by
bad
luck
all
my
life
(and...
boy,
do
I
have
stories
to
tell)
,
but
nothing
could
compare
to
losing
my first child Alex at full term,
followed
by
a
miscarriage,
then,
like
if
that
wasn't
enough,
I
had
the
misfortune
to
experience
one
of
the
worse
disorders
on
the
planet
on
my
first
"live"
sweet
little
baby
boy...
Just
to
explain
how
devastating
this
disorder
is,
EB
(Epidermolysis
Bullosa)
has
been
ranked
as
part
of
the
top
ten
"Hell
on
Earth"
sicknesses
/
diseases
/
disorders
on
a
survey
done
on
the
Internet
in
1996.
Ever
since
he
was
born
I
resorted
in
just
trying
to
enjoy
him
as
much
as
I
can.
I
love
him
with
all
my
heart,
and
I
will
always
be
hoping
for
a
cure...
I
will
never
give
up
on
the
miracle
of
a
world
WITHOUT
EB!
Connor
was
born
healthy
and
I
thank
my
lucky
stars
every
day.
However,
I
also
believe
that
we
have
a
right
to
grieve
and
a
right
to
feel
cheated
in
life
before
we
can
come
to
that
acceptance
and
realization,
and,
most
importantly,
learn
to
be
happy
again.
Life
is
still
good,
no
matter
how
bad
it
seems
at
times.
We
just
have
to
learn
to
enjoy
what
we
have,
and
not
let
the
thought
in
that
only
having
material
things
can
make
us
happy.
If
you
have
seen
the
movie
'The
Family
Man'
you
know
what
I
am
talking
about.
If
not...
in
a
nutshell,
a
very
successful
and
single
(too
busy
to
have
a
relationship)
career
oriented
man
got
a
chance
to
take
a
peek
at
what
his
life
would
have
been
like
without
all
his
money,
his
fancy
car
and
degree
and
see
what
would
have
been
like
to
have
a
'survival'
job,
a
wife
and
kids.
At
first
he
did
not
like
it,
but
when
he
found
himself
back
into
the
fancy
lonely
life...
he
knew
it
was
not
worth
it.
That
movie
is
a
special
message.
Forget
about
collecting
material
things.
Spend
time
with
your
family,
that
is
the
most
precious
thing
of
all.
After
a
loss
or
a
tragedy
it
might
take
a
few
months
or
a
few
years,
depending
on
the
circumstances
to
learn
how
to
be
happy
again...
and
we
might
never
regain
that
complete
happiness,
but
that's
okay,
because
we
become
better
human
beings
in
the
process.
The
main
thing
to
remember
is
to
not
let
anyone
tell
you
how
to
grieve.
We
all
deserve
happiness
in
our
lives,
and
it
might
take
a
long
time
to
know
how
to
become
a
survivor,
find
out
inner
strength,
and
learn
how
to
smile
again.
No
one
but
you
knows
how
great
the
hurt
is,
because
grief
touches
us
all
in
a
very
unique
way.
Grief
can
come
not
only
from
losing
a
loved
one,
but
from
losing
dreams
and
hopes
for
the
future.
Nobody
can
know
how
that
feels
unless
they've
been
in
your
shoes.
It's
also
important
to
remember
that
grief
is
neither
a
sign
of
weakness
nor
a
lack
of
faith.
It's
the
price
we
pay
for
love.
Yes,
life
isn't
always
fair,
but
sometime
you
learn
important
lessons
from
it.
I
find
it
rather
amusing
that
there
are
actually
people
out
there
that
talk
nonsense
about
me,
make
up
wild
theories/stories
and
bad
mouth
me
publicly
behind
my
back.
Nobody's
perfect,
but
if
you
have
something
to
say
to
me,
be a
decent
person
and
either
confront
me
about
it,
or
let
me
be.
People
that
live
in
glass
houses
shouldn't
throw
stones
anyway...
yes,
I
could
have
plenty
to
say
about
these
people,
but
I
have
class,
I
don't
like
airing
my
dirty
laundry
in
public
and
I
never
will.
Since
I am
indeed
amused
by
the
immaturity
of
these
individuals,
I
have
come
up
with
some
theories
myself
on
why
these
people
act
this
way:
1)
They're
jealous
or
they
have
a
low
self-esteem,
so
they
feel
the
need
to
find
fault
with
others
so
that
they
can
feel
that
all
is
right
in
their
own
little
world.
2)
Maybe
they're
just
bitter
people
with
*No
Life*
so
they
insist
on
interfering
with
mine.
It's
sad
to
know
that
some
people
are
so
miserable,
they
find
it
amusing
to
bad
mouth
others.
Point
being,
show
some
maturity:
Bad
mouthing
people
publicly
behind
their
back
is
uncool,
so
don't
be a
loser.
The
midi
you
are
listening
to
is
my
absolute
favorite
song
of
all
time
called
"La
Forza
della
Vita"..."The
strength
of
Life",
a
1992
Italian
Hit
song
by
Paolo Vallesi. The song is extremely
inspiring,
explaining
how
it
may
only
be
until
you're
at
the
end
of
your
rope,
until
you
touch
the
"bottom"
with
your
fingers
that
you
will
feel
"The
strength
of
life"
that
will
carry
you
through...
Well,
this
song
has
carried
me
through
many
difficult
moments.
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